remember that show with the little puppet lamb named lambchop and that chick with the weird hair with her hand up the lambs ass? yeah that shit was weird. but im pretty sure i watched it a ton of times and i was learning about how to tie my shoes or cross the street or something. i dunno what i learned exactly but it has nothing to do with when i learned how to smoke marijuana the correct way. yeah and barney? that dinosaur guy. i think i watched that a few times too. that singing was so annoying, i remember this one time at day care they had a barney christmas tape playing cuz it was december and i was thinking "c'mon i heard these songs a billion times and they just sound so shitty coming from a half-retarded purple dinosaur." and that makes perfect sense, what could a half-retarded purple dinosaur do well except teach kids how to aim IN the toilet instead of shitting on the floor? not much, especially not singing good ol' christmas tunes. speaking of christmas tunes....i've been hearing them a lot lately...at the mall, at the elevator, at the grocery store, the porn shop...it hasn't even been thanksgiving yet. america is dumb. can we give thanks for turkey and stuffing before you break out the Nat King Cole? and Halloween is tomorrow....so where's the traditional halloween songs on the radio. "Babies roasting on an Open Fire" "Rudolph the bloody gloved Reaper" or "Mexistash" wtf? i havnt even heard one of those on the radio or ever before.

The truth is i know exactly why we hear christmas songs three months before Christmas. It's cause Christmas reminds adultish people of when they were kids and their parents gave them shit for free and they got to play in the snow and stuff. and then everyone sits around and does christmas stuff like eating chocolate, crying because grandma didn't get you the Spacetron Action fighter you wanted, instead she knitted a little hat and gloves that match because they both have a big Vagina on the front. Nowadays there isn't any snow because our parents killed the atmosphere, we don't get presents because our parents killed the economy, we don't eat chocolate because our parents ate it all the fuck up, and our kids don't cry because we got them that fucking mini-ipod and wrote "from grandma" on it.

i hope the world ends soon